i need an iv and a liver transplant
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
