They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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