Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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