i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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