She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
