it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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