My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
