you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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