ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Come see our sink grown plant.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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