hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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