Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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