Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
