i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
