I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
