There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
