Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
