so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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