If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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