why didn't you poke me back
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
