there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
