I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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