you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
