Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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