I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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