My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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