don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
