you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
