do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
