hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
