sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
