i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
