Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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