So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
