idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
