honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
