I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
