We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
