Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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