Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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