it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
