I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Send help, water and tortillas.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
