That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
