I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
