moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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