he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
