The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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