i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
