So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
