I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
