I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
