I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
