Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
