I wanna passion pit in your ass
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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